Today

Today is the day Marty McFly went to the future. How crazy is that. Those movies came out more or less before I was born (ok, not the second). But let the preachings of Kanye explain - born in 88. How old is that? Old enough. So anyway, even I can't believe it's finally 4/30/2013. Still perplexed how my present is so different from Marty's future, and not a little let down.

One More, Just Because

I'm not really a movie person anymore. I used to be able to watch them, but since turning the ripe old age of about 22, sitting still for more than a 40 minute show has become a challenge unless the movie has either a): a certain select group of actors (paging Robert Redford, come on), lots of glitter and/or bright colors, or animals as main characters. Oooh or Kate Hudson. Or Ryan Reynolds. But I digress. Tonight I actually decided to take me time and watch Queen of Versailles. Such a sad movie. At first, it was just more poor little rich kids, but really. That poor woman. She may eat 2000 caviar for kicks even on the foreclosure block (is that a thing? Shouldn't I know?) but what a saint. So sad though. They were living in utter denial. I kindof wanted to cry thinking about people who struggle so hard for their family, and try so hard to put on a normal front when things just aren't right. The Christmas party especially... didn't they realize people knew? Other hand though, the father was soo effing stubborn! Just sell that stupid empty house you have another I mean geez. I admit it, it was kindof a feel sorry for me kind of day, but was really inspired to go give at least two big before bed hugs. Life is too goddam short to be that difficult. Work hard, play hard, and if it's making you miserable let it go. Just let it go. My mantra, now to follow it

On another note: me looking tired and makeup-less, but bangs looking hot as hell! Bangs, not me. Just to make that clear. Finally happy with them, but on seeing them today, my mother's comment was "wow, now all you need are some slutty strappy sandals." Apparently they've become almost sultry, like only hair hanging in your eyes can be woo hoo!

3 Months In

Officially March 1. New Years feels like yesterday, and it's things like this that make me believe that I am literally almost 30. And yes, I realize I'm 24, and some might say that is nowhere in the vicinity of a third decade, but literally, I will wake up one day and say "It feels like just yesterday I was 24," and it will feel just like this does. That's my justification for that argument, even though no one seems to accept it as fact but me, but it actually really does make sense!

Sunny has been so clingy lately! This was her last night, in between my knees where she refused to move for 20 mins. She never goes up to the third floor unless she's feeling needy, and then she just sits and stares, just willing me to understand her. I never do, but pet her anyway, and here she is in all her silent glory. It's a little unnerving actually, she's so intense when she wants something. I almost wish she'd bark; it would lighten the mood.

Also, Stubbs has my favorite shoes ever back in stock. I actually never realized they were narrow until I saw them on the site again, and now I get why they've been pretty much impossible to break in. I wear a B width, so AA is actually two sizes too narrow. For some reason I always thought I just had huge feet when it cames to Stubbs, so this is very reassuring. Also, I hate to say it, but they've (accidentally) turned into my rain shoes as of late (just horrible serendipity when it comes to not checking the weather and getting dressed in some of my favorite shoes simultaneously), so they're looking a little like the roof of a wet tiki bar woven into some truly lovely footwear, and I wish there were some way to fix this!

In all their unstained glory

Finally, see Argo! Ben Affleck has been a favorite actor ever since Shakespeare In Love, and I honestly thought I'd be bored out of my skull, but I actually stayed relatively transfixed the entire time! And that never happens, unless it's some sort of Pixar, so this is saying a lottt! Also, John Goodman is back, so another county heard from (when was the last time he was in a movie?) and another reason to see it!

Vintage Inspiration

Just tonight, someone at happy hour said that I am classic beyond belief. I personally have spent my entire life trying to get away from being stereotyped quite so entirely, but apparently, they had a point. Love the mix of sporty and glamorous.

The Princess (Grace of course)

C.K. Bradley's mother in Gstaad

The other princess (from The Pink Panther)

 Last and for sure not least, absolutely cannot wait til 4am!! If it's another sleepless night, I'll definitely spend it trying to make a fire as best as I can by myself with my limited outdoor skills (for someone who lived outside for two weeks, how!) and gazing out the window.

Quarter Life Crisis

Yesterday I picked up the weekly free itunes gift card from Starbucks, and this time it was a rental for the movie Happy. I wasn't expecting to watch it, but today as I nursed my hangover from last night's annual Eggnog at AYC, I decided to give it a try. One thing I can say with certainty is that these days, happy is not how I would always describe myself. For various reasons, I feel almost completely torn down and overwhelmed. It shows too. When I taught sailing a few years ago as a summer job, all the kids called me "Smiley." Cheesy, but apparently I was always smiling. Lately I don't feel quite as exuberant; circumstances are wearing on me, and I feel kindof frustrated with myself at most given times. One thing that I really picked up on from watching Happy is that people who change their routines often tend to be more cheerful. Also, we tend to have a certain state that we return to after either positive or negative changes, Our happiness resting point can vary from person to person. I would say that my happiness resting point has gone down lately, and I'm thinking I can chalk it up to a quarter life crisis. Things career-wise are a little out of my control, and family and friends are sometimes uncertain as well, just because of silly dramas. As of today, I'm currently on the lookout for all the little things that do make me very happy, even if only for a moment, so I can look on those things and make a positive change in my daily happiness resting point, so I can get this ridiculous mentality balanced, and not be such a worrier. Things currently making me very happy:
1. Today, for the first time since I got my real estate license in August, a friend/peer contacted me asking for help BUYING a house! Exciting!

2. My sexy lace Victoria's Secret dress that I wore last night! Definitely the only one of it's kind there, and I loved every minute of wearing it
3. Christmas shopping for James; it's true that it really is better to give than receive, and I keep coming up with more things that I think he'd love and his big wooden cigar box (my gift wrapping of choice for him) of presents is getting full already in spite of my best efforts to not go overboard this year
4. Going to see family in Montclair this weekend for the Christmas party
5. Thinking about the future, and what I'm really really  hoping it holds for me if I can make it happen!

Life of Pi

Anyone who hasn't seen Life of Pi really should. I was never into Avatar and couldn't even make it halfway through without falling asleep, and apparently this is similar, but this was so good sometimes it was eerie. It was a little like stepping into a futuristic and ersatz photo-realist painting of some kind of crazy trip. I lived for every scene where it would just show the boat in the vast expanse of water, whether it was from under or over or far off on the horizon and you couldn't even tell it was water it was floating in;  they did such a good job with the graphics it was the perfect mix of a weird dreamlike magic and a creepy feeling of loneliness. It made me want to be lost at sea at night, just to experience that otherworldly emptiness that you're in the middle of but not involved in at all.